Well, i've decided that i'm going to take a break from being serious – this will happen quite a lot – but i like silly better than serious, even though the world runs on serious – Today's Silly will crop up every so often, whenever i find something particularly silly, or funny, or weird – everybody needs some Silly time – it's not healthy to be serious all the time – seriously
Today's Silly is taken from an excellent email my good friend, Bonnie, sent me. Bonnie lives in Queenstown, NZ and is very pregnant with her very first child – Bonnie is also Canadian, but as you will see, you don't have to be Canadian to appreciate this post:
"As you know, Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics. Here are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Webstie. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!"
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles. Take lots of water.
Q: Is is safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So, it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto,
Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent South of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your
North…oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face South and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the
directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys'
Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No. WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female polulation is smaller than the male
population? (Italy)
A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No. We are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's kind of a big horse with
horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
ouch
Paikea Restored 